All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
