Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize