my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
