im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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