how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
