He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
