They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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