We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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