i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
