Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
