Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
The adults are the big ones right?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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