You made me cry and you don't even care
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
