I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
