Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
