I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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