1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
