Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Just high enough for therapy.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
