Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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