so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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