I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
