Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize