If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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