2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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