you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
