I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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