Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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