What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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