I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
