Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Small penises have feelings too.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
