i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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