I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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