Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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