My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
