I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
MIDGETS
????
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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