So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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