Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
