When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
