i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
