i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Blood and glitter go together right?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
