STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
