apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
