i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
