Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
