just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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