The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
