I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize