Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
