This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
