she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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