I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just gift wrapped bread.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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