I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
