I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
