I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
