What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
