How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
