Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
