she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
