I'm really into asian looking animals
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Welp...herpes.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
