I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
