and you said cock pushups were impossible
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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