i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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