Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
