You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
