Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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