I hate all girls vehemently.
Porn is love you can see.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
