Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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