return my video game
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
