do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
