dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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