I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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